Lola & Stan

A favourite poem by a favourite poet

2011-07-26T17:52:00.000-07:00

The Swimmer's Moment
Margaret Avison

For everyone
The swimmer's moment at the whirlpool comes,
But many at that moment will not say
"This is the whirlpool, then."
By their refusal they are saved
From the black pit, and also from contesting
The deadly rapids, and emerging in
The mysterious, and more ample, further waters.
And so their bland-blank faces turn and turn
Pale and forever on the rim of suction
They will not recognize.
Of those who dare the knowledge
Many are whirled into the ominous centre
That, gaping vertical, seals up
For them an eternal boon of privacy,
So that we turn away from their defeat
With a despair, not for their deaths, but for
Ourselves, who cannot penetrate their secret
Nor even guess at the anonymous breadth
Where one or two have won:
(The silver reaches of the estuary).

Happy 65th Birthday to my 50 year old dad! ;)

2011-07-12T08:07:00.000-07:00

I do know that he *is* the Best Dad. Others may say that they have the best but I really do.

Here's 65 things that I know and love about him:

1. He's wise.

2. He's mischief incarnate.

3. He's a great provider.

4. He loves kiddos and always has lifesavers or candies in his pockets.

5. And Kleenex in his wallet for the women in his life, ie. his wife and daughters.

6. He, like the Boy Scouts, is always prepared.

7. He loves to give and is truly the most giving person (along with mom) I have ever met. ever.

8. He's everybody's friend. He puts everyone at ease and makes them laugh.

9. He's got a great sense of humour. Most of the time it's great, that is. Sometimes, it's just plain cheese ;)

10. He built us our own home when we were kids.

11. He worked hard for us. He would send us off to play for weeks in the summer at Sylvan Lake while he worked and joined us on weekends.

12. He let us play with dirt bikes and trikes. (even when a certain grumpy neighbour would complain) and built us trails, jumps and firepits. He's fun

13. He's humble

14. He is godly.

15. He takes to heart the verse about caring for widows and orphans. (There were many times as a child that I saw him going over insurance and paperwork and talking with lawyers and even writing out personal cheques @ our dining room table.)

16. He's loyal.

17. He isn't afraid of giving his time or going the extra mile.

18. He's kind.

19. He cares for the elderly. Ooh the great discomfiture us kids would feel when he and mom would cart us into hospitals and nursing homes - the seepage, the "see-sees," the visiting of Sister Ristos and great-grandparents. All of which I appreciate now, but... back then...

20. Did I mention he was/is mischief incarnate? He loves pranks. His neighbours are likely still traumatized from his Halloween hooliganisms.

21. He's a reformed daredevil - playing chicken in his youth along rural Alberta roads.

22. His favourite film as a kid was aptly Steve McQueen's Great Escape as he engineered his own from Camrose Lutheran College Hall's third story windows at age 16.

23. He's soft-hearted and compassionate.

24. He's thoughtful.

25. He's strong. Not just with those big shoulders but internally too.

26. He has a missionary's heart and spent time overseas building orphanages and caring for people. I remember a certain trip where he talked with some people and was considering taking us overseas permanently. God didn't lead that way but he was open.

27. He is gentle.

28. As kids, when we were sick, he'd bring us home comics and treats after work. Popsicles, if we had fevers.

29. He would shave the ice on the lake with his big machines and make skating rinks for us to play on and more ramps in the snow for the snowmobile.

30. He has a beautiful singing voice. really.

31. He's been a carpenter,

32. a real estate agent,

33. a builder,

34. an electrical engineer and worked at AGT

35. He likes change and has lived in different places and made many friends and has had many lives because of it.

36. He is patient.

37. He never once yelled at a certain sister of mine who crashed the car(s) several times in her youth ;)

He'd just ask, "are you okay?" That's all that mattered. The rest could be dealt with.

38. He's an ethical businessman using the best materials when he built homes ( no chipboard) even when it cost him out of his own pocket.

39. He's an artist - as a carpenter building furniture and shelving. He makes the most beautiful woodgrain pens. I love the smell of wood. it transports me to my childhood to all things homey and safe and good.

40. He'd tickle us to death as kids. naughty.

41. He loves his wife. Too many PDAs even yet. sigh.

42. He loves good, soulful music.

43. He's an encourager.

44. His favourite periodicals are Auto Trader and Buy and Sell

45. His favourite online sites include Craigslist and Kijiji.

46. He loves to buy and he loves to sell.

47. He's a Mr. Fix It

48. He *Loves* to tease.

49. We always had the fun cars - plush 70's vans in the 70's, firebirds and mustangs in the 80's. He gave Dee and I our first cars. They were matching robin's egg blue mustangs. He also purchased Dee an original cone lights and chrome El Camino that had the boys flocking to her side.

50. He took time for us kids. He'd take us out on is car hunts to the auto sales and yards and take us out for lunch afterwards.

51. He'd give us the shirt off his back. and did. Dee still has his old cardigan, I think.

52. He took us on adventures. camping and trips

53. He took us to church faithfully and if we were bored would let us fall asleep on his lap and/give us crayons and coloring books, toy trucks from his pocket and pilfered melba toast garlic sticks.

54. He'll travel miles to find you a deal.

55. He'll travel miles to help you in a crisis and make sure he's there.

56. He'll move in order to be nearer his kids in a crisis.

57. He'll purchase a business and then volunteer many hours at it until its on its feet.

58. He doesn't complain.

59. He likes his food. Thank goodness he's married to mom ;)

60. He's trusted my abilities and in doing so made me trustworthy.

61. He loves God and lives his life that way.

62. He prays for us kids daily. What a blessing.

63. He was a great son. He regularly visited and called his folks. Would rope us in to paint their house. He'd clean up after them and move them. He loved them.

64. As his sister will tell you, "He's the Best Brother."

65. And as you can see, He really is the Best Father.

I love you dad. I hope you have such a special day today and a really wonderful new year!

A Favourite Poem

2011-05-30T22:55:00.001-07:00

Contraband

by Denise Levertov

The tree of knowledge was the tree of reason.
That's why the taste of it
drove us from Eden. That fruit
was meant to be dried and milled to a fine powder
for use a pinch at a time, a condiment.
God had probably planned to tell us later
about this new pleasure.
We stuffed our mouths full of it,
gorged on but and if and how and again
but, knowing no better.
It's toxic in large quantities; fumes
swirled in our heads and around us
to form a dense cloud that hardened to steel,
a wall between us and God, Who was Paradise.
Not that God is unreasonable – but reason
in such excess was tyranny
and locked us into its own limits, a polished cell
reflecting our own faces. God lives
on the other side of that mirror,
but through the slit where the barrier doesn't
quite touch ground, manages still
to squeeze in – as filtered light,
splinters of fire, a strain of music heard
then lost, then heard again.

Hmm...

2011-05-28T12:33:00.001-07:00

Now we know where Donald Trump got the inspiration for his 'do. Blame Jimmy (Jimi) and his blond Elvis:

We discovered this drawing at the Experience Music Project in Seattle. Both my hubby and I saw Donald not Elvis in Jimi Hendrix's doodle.

Without Love We Ain't Nothin

2011-04-10T18:25:00.000-07:00

À la Larry Norman, "Without love, you ain't nothin, you ain't nothin, nothin, nothin."

Jesus was asked, "What is the Greatest Commandment?" He responded with Love:

Matthew, chapter 22 verse 37 “....‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[c] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[d]

Three things to attempt if we want to follow His greatest command. Love God. Love Others. And, also, there is an assumption that we love ourselves too or otherwise we wouldn't be loving others very well.

The Love Chapter, I Corinthians 13, tells what our definition of love should be:

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

Applying this to God, to others and to ourselves in our perceptions, thoughts and actions. It takes some practise, I think.

Later in the chapter (Matthew chapter 22 verse 40, he writes: "All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

All of the Law hinges on Love. My husband used to challenge our youth groups with this: "Name one sin that doesn't potentially hurt God, you or others?"

Without love, we ain't nothin. But with love...

Lamentations 3:22-24

2011-02-24T18:55:00.000-08:00

The steadfast love of the Lord never changes. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."

An Extraordinary Sunset

2011-02-08T20:13:00.001-08:00

For me, God's Beauty = Hope. This recent sunset in Steveston, BC was such an extravagant display of His Creation. Like Fall's vibrant leaves or the view from a mountaintop, God's Creation makes me feels such joy, so much hope.

Opinions

2011-01-31T16:03:00.000-08:00

Differing opinions make me happy. I am not always delighted by an opposing point of view... especially if it comes from my daughter when she decides she doesn't want to move when already late and really in need of some hurry. Wishing I could intravenous some of my adrenaline into her then! ;)

But, it is good to have someone else's perspective.

Maybe, it's the knowledge that I don't always have to be right. Or, the challenge that comes from another's well-thought out rebuttal to a yet unchallenged idea or belief. Whatever the case, a differing opinion can bring me to a place of change or solidify what I already believe as true.

I like people. I like knowing what others think. How they tick. At least, a bit of how another mind works, thinks, feels, believes.

We are all so different.
I love colour. Bright, vivid hues make me happy! My cousin looks at me in disbelief and shock when I show her my kitchen's multi-coloured chandelier. I can see her thought processes: "Wow! That's tacky!" When I visit her home, I discover that she likes sage green and soft soothing tones of brown and beige.

Personality, age, cultures, loves, hopes and belief systems. We are so varied. Each of us individual. Yet, so similar. It's interesting that our differences are often what keep us apart.

Accepting those differences, which isn't the same as approving of every difference, is what brings us together to find those things that we can bond on - the common ground... and the not-so-common.

Christmas is Best!

2010-12-28T22:19:00.000-08:00

I so enjoyed my family this Christmas. I hadn't had a true Larson family Christmas in such a long while. The absence of my sister and her happy crew was felt. But, my brother came. :D And, my auntie came. She, to me, is the spirit of Christmas. She has so much joy and the best giggles. Such a fun person. Last year, I was the one missing from the family Christmas in that I couldn't be in the Carolinas in person but at least I could be in spirit and by technology.

So many of our family are going through painful life change and so it seemed like Christmas might be a miss this year. But, it wasn't. I felt such joy. I think the intangible magic of Christmas is in the love felt and the joy of being in the safe company of those that know you so well. Those that love you just as you are with all of your raw edges and rough spots.

Feeling so grateful and happy.

Suffering Well?

2010-11-03T09:45:00.000-07:00

This is something I wrote nearly a year ago. I didn't post it for fear of being too exposed, too vulnerably laid bare when feeling so in the midst of pain still. But, maybe these thoughts can benefit someone else, so here it is, all laid bare and naked. ;)

I have recently been doing some layman's research on how to (if possible) suffer well.

Our family has gone through some losses as most families do.

I suffered a debilitating illness that kept me in my bed for the better part of 12 years. We've suffered through miscarriages. We lost a baby mid-pregnancy about a year ago. And now, we are facing financial losses. Our business has been effected negatively by the economic crises of the past couple of years and it's forced the quick sale of our home and any excess. A proverbial throwing off the boat of any unnecessary weight.

Everyone suffers. It's interesting then, isn't it, that a "how to" course isn't taught in our schools or even talked about much at church or amongst friends.

We often quietly suffer through great losses or painful times - bad diagnoses, natural disaster, heartaches, divorce, physical illnesses, mental/emotional frailties that cause devastation and life change. Even, the facing of death itself.

But can we suffer well? Is that a possibility?

My sister and brother in law have five children. The first two were born with autism and cleft palates and ear related problems that have required many, near yearly, surgeries. Then, about five years ago, my brother-in-law developed an insidious, rare blood illness called acute ideopathic hypereosiniphilic disorder that will take his life slowly and painfully unless God does a miracle for him. I watch how they manage by simply living each day as it comes. They choose to live in the now.

My sister in law has taught me that being in denial is okay in so much as it helps you to survive a long term crisis. She has also taught me that it's best to distract one's self as much as possible. To work hard when/if you can. Read a good book. (I lent my copy of Lettie Cowman's "Streams in the Desert" to her when her husband was first diagnosed only to have her return the favor years later when we were going through our painful time.)Watch t.v. To take meds that your doc prescribes. Give to others in need if possible. Anything to keep the pain - or at least the suffering part ;) - at bay or from taking over.

They laugh daily. They find humor in everyday things - something the kids have said or done, silly inane stupid stuff, anything. They will themselves to laugh in the midst of suffering. They intentionally watch tv programs like Funniest Home Videos or the Comedy Network or what have you even when they don't really feel like it - just to be open to the possibility of having a good laugh.

Death of a loved one can be life altering in ways never dreamed. It changes everything.

A very warm, sweet relative of mine gave birth to a precious baby girl who died mere minutes later. Suffering the loss of a child is a suffering that's for a lifetime. I've seen her make it through by her faith in the Lord and through friends' and family's support and I'm sure with many tears and much sorrow on Mothers' Day and birthdays and landmarks missed.

Grief crops up whenever it chooses. Random moments that remind you of your loss. Just simply putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward. Faking it til it's a semblance of okay again. It takes great courage.

I have other family members and friends who've faced devastating rejection from their spouses. Divorce and family break up. Horrible pain that they simply endured. I have a scrappy, mighty sister who I admire so much who carried her three kids through to a whole new, good life by sheer self will and God's help. There are still scars, but they are healing.

Less often recognized is the suffering from long term mental illnesses that impede life daily at best or cause minute by minute torment at worst.

Pain comes in myriad forms.

Maybe that's one truth about suffering - Not only is it painful, but... it's beyond our control. It's an event/ happening/circumstance that's not wanted. It's life change that you never asked for.

How to suffer well?

I guess part of what I have seen bring peace in the midst of the storm of pain and suffering is simple trust in the Lord. Trust in His love. A clinging to or grasping onto Truth there.

I think too it's relying on friends and family as much as possible. I guess the area I struggle with most is feeling "weak." I feel like I can't endure at times. Maybe, when we suffer, we all feel like little children again wishing for someone to take care of us and show us the way or carry us through.

I think that acceptance of the present is a means, a way towards, peace. To know when to fight and when to stop.

I have seen suffering be the source of great beauty in songs, in poetry and art and in people's lives and characters. It seems that if suffering is endured well then there is less bitterness than in those who suffer poorly. Maybe another key to suffering well is gratitude for what we do have or have had. Being able to see beyond the pain now to potential hope for the future.

There are moments when all of us are faced with pain. I hope to learn how to suffer well so that at the end my life, i'm not all bitterness and anger. I want to be like my sister in law who belly laughs regularly and attempts not to take this life too seriously. Of course, pain takes over at times but to be able to laugh in the midst of pain lightens the load of mental dread. I want to have the courage of my aunt and the feistiness of my sister.

This isn't a how-to list. It's just some meandering musings on how to make it through maybe without giving up or giving in to those miserable thoughts that say everything is hopeless or it'll never get better - that the pain is too great or the battle too hard. To give up or to give in to anger and bitterness.

Suffering Well? Maybe it's a combination of courage, hope, joy and love that makes suffering endurable or that helps us to suffer well. It's not always possible. I hope to make it through this painful time for us with God's help, good friends, a healthy dose of denial and mindless distraction. I really want to suffer well.

A thought or two

2010-11-02T21:01:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking lately about why there's often a volatile reaction to the expressing of one's faith in a public forum. This is in response to a recent Facebook posting I happened to come across. Most postings in these sort of forums are lighthearted or positive, dotted here or there with smatterings of wit or wisdom. Most of which is good-humoured. Occasionally, there's an item mentioned of a more serious bent -an expression of frustration, sorrow, concern, worry or the like. Almost always responded to with kindness, respect, good nature or gentle ribbing. Overall, a sensibility of "fair play" and a general graciousness in communicating with one another.

So, when this particular posting was made - a singular verse of biblical scripture as a status - the response could be seen as surprising. The response was mockery, belittling, snideness, spite. A general baseness of vitriolic spew at its worst and uncomfortable indignance at best. This wasn't the first time I'd encountered this in public online forums.

How could such a small thing as a single, solitary sentence cause such a reaction and change in the general good nature of the Facebook crowd? Hmm.

What was this verse that caused so much fuss?

It's found in one of the books of the Bible called 1 Thessalonians and in the 22nd verse of its fifth chapter. It says simply: "Abstain from all appearance of evil."

After 36 verbal volleys sniping back and forth, the beleaguered quoter (likely attempting good natured, gentle ribbing,) quipped: "Who knew that the topic of abstinence from evil could be so popular?" This too was followed by more bitter sentiment.

So, why do these conversations devolve into back and forth sniping? It's not so much conversation (where two people actually are listening to one another) so much as debating.

Maybe, in part, it is the result of help or hurt.

I think if faith has helped you, you react positively. If religion or usually a religious person(s) have caused you pain, you act that way. So, in the case above, if an individual has been helped by a faith in God, the verse might be seen as inspirational and encouraging. If an individual has been hurt by religion or feels disillusioned by religious people, then likely that verse is seen as overtly didactic and even, in some way, threatening by causing bad memories or painful experience to resurface involuntarily.

Maybe another reason for the strong reaction is that people get off on being right. They love to fight. They love simple one-up-manship and value their perceived points scored to the exemption of honest communication and listening and somehow, they feel it's a justifiable place in which to play this game.

Happy 40th B-Day to my sweet Sister, Dee!

2009-06-12T21:40:00.000-07:00

Here's 40 things I know about my big sister who's turning 40 today:

1. She's a really good listener.

2. She's kind.

3. She's got the best laugh ever -it a cross between a giggle and a chuckle - I miss hearing it .

4. She's brave - she moved across the whole continent and into another country with three kids and very few of their earthly possessions in a minivan to start a new life.

5. She helped me see it was ok to grow up when as an adolescent I really did not want to.

6. She does not like ketchup.

7. She's a painter.

8. a sculptor.

9. an artiste extraordinaire...

10. she wants to do right and live right.

11. She is a style maven - the style girl who dares to wear and put together things others wouldn't consider and make it all look so perfectly funky and fun (Joy's so proud of her daughter Eden cuz "she's like DeeAnne and can put things that wouldn't seem to be able to go together together and make it look so good.")

12. She loves nature.

13. She defends her family and friends with fierce loyalty.

14. She's got endurance - she'll stick it out til the bitter end - even if its 10 years of crap.

15. She's a wonderful mom - she encourages her kids and brings out the best in them by allowing them to develop their own interests and personalities and wear their own style of clothing and have their hair the way they like it...even when she feels the criticism from other grumpy moms.

16. She is a great writer.

17. She's funny and can make me laugh til I cry.

18. She's compassionate.

19. She doesn't like booger pickers pickings stuck to walls or slimed on arm hairs.

20. She'll sacrifice herself to make peace with others.

21. She makes the best mile high apple crumble.

22. She throws the most amazing Canada Day parties - we travelled many miles, many times to get there in time to be at them.

23. She can make an ugly place like our yucky Dunbar basement into a beautiful home for her family - even on the most shoestring of a shoestring budget.

24. She stands up for what's right - no matter what the cost.

25. She loves to push herself.

26. She loves to garden.

27. She takes criticism - even if it hurts, she listens to see if there's any truth to it and then tries to change.

28. She loves experiencing new things.

29. She makes the best chai - Amy still asks for it.

30. She can make any plate of food into a culinary experience.

31. She has a very cute perfectly round bum - I was always jealous of it and...truth be told, still am :)

32. She is much tidier than me.

33. She is visual and needs artistic and asthetically pleasing stuff in her life in order to feel happy, healthy and well.

34. She's fearless - when we were little she'd take me to places I never thought I'd go and encourage me in things I never would have considered doing on my own. This is why in all our little girl pictures, I am looking up at her with awe.

35. She is wise and gives good, sage advice.

36. She is non-judgemental.

37. She's godly.

38. She loves music and to sing.

39. She's strong and very capable.

40. Best of all, she really loves and because of that she's soooo very loved in return!